Culture Shock: Buying Chicken

To Market, to Market to buy a fat hen

I wonder if Malaysians come to America and think, "Is this it? Is this is the only way to buy chicken?" Like the vast majority of carniverous Americans, I would just go to the grocery store and buy neatly packaged chicken out of the refrigerated case. Who knew that this simple task would have so many variations when I moved over here?

Super Chicken!
No, it's not the latest Marvel Comics hero. Super Chicken is the term for what Americans think of as Whole Chicken. A Standard Chicken, however, means with the head and feet still attached.

Chicken Feet
Succulent chicken feet are a Chinese delicacy. In the same way that you may opt for just drumsticks, you can get just feet here. In the mid-80's, my parents in America tried to start a business exporting discarded chicken feet from the U.S. to Hong Kong. Tyson Chicken informed them that the U.S. Food and Drug Administration did not permit chicken feet for human consumption, thus thwarting their plans. Then, Wal-Mart successfully lobbied the FDA to change the rule so that they could export chicken feet to their stores in China. True story.

Wrapped in plastic on a Styrofoam tray
Yup, you can go to the grocery store in Malaysia and buy chicken this way, too. For the most part, this is my default method. But the inventory is small, and sometimes all that's on the shelf is drummettes or wings. Another time, my car smelled of Death when I got home, and the odor was definitely coming off the chicken despite the fact that the expiration date hadn't hit.

Sometimes, I'll get lucky and tongs are available for handling the chicken.

Buy it in bulk
At Tesco Hypermart, carts in the middle of the aisle will be piled high with chicken. On the day I took this picture, ice was layered between the pieces. Most times, however, a only the pieces on the bottom are being chilled with the upper 12 inches of the pile just exposed to room temperature. In this situation, I'll grab the pieces directly off the ice. If you think Jenga is hard, try dislodging slippery, raw chicken from the foundation of a tall poultry tower without causing the whole thing to tumble down. Just scoop it up, dump it in a plastic bag, and bring it over to the Weigh Station for the price sticker. Do not dare go to the Checkout without stopping at the Weigh Station first. Hint: Dig the hand sanitizer out of your purse before your hands are covered with raw chicken juice. I learned this one the hard way.


At the Wet Market (top picture)
The Wet Market supposedly has the freshest chickens. It's also the place with the most abundant supply and with the most customers. The chicken is slaughtered and plucked that morning, then brought to the market. Have I mentioned that the market is open air and unairconditioned? The chickens are laid out on tile counters, typically without the benefit of ice or refrigeration.

I must confess that I waited until a good friend had purchased chicken here for weeks without falling ill before I was willing to give this a try. When I did, my friend in Singapore commented that I had really embraced SE Asian life. I only buy chickens here if I can arrive early in the morning before they've sat out in the heat for too long.

The chicken stall at the Wet Market is similar to a butcher shop. You tell the vendor which pieces you want, and he'll cut it up for you. You get the discarded bits in the bag, too, because they weigh the entire chicken before taking a knife to it.

Freshly Slaughtered
Some markets bring the chickens in alive and then slaughter them on site. Now that's fresh! The only way to get your poultry fresher is the way my mom did it as a kid. Go into the yard and do it yourself right before cooking.

My local market doesn't slaughter chickens there, so I was naive and unsuspecting when I was at another market and wandered into a room labeled "Chicken." I must not have noticed the clucking noises or else I would have anticipated what I would witness. I've always imagined chicken slaughtering as either the complex machine in Chicken Run or else with a butcher knife raised high in the air before coming down on the chicken's neck laid upon a chopping block. Not in Malaysia.

Since the majority of the population is Muslim, chicken must be killed following Halal protocol. Halal is the dietary rules of Islam, similar to Judaism's prescription of Kosher rules. [If you're the squeamish type, stop reading!] When I walked in, two people were holding the live chicken in mid-air and one of them was holding the knife. With the both the slaughterer and the chicken's head pointing towards Mecca, the long blade was drawn across its neck, slicing through the jugular vein and windpipe but not the spinal column. During this process, they murmur a prayer to Allah. Some of my devout Christian friends wonder if it's permissable for them to consume halal chicken since it's been killed in Allah's name. Causing minimal pain to the animal is imperative. The chicken is then drained off all blood before butchering. I did not buy chicken this day.


As long as I'm here, I'll continue trying out the various ways to obtain chicken. But when I return to America with its sanitary chicken supply far divorced from the reality of slaughter, I'll be as happy as a rooster in a hen house.

Epic Day at Tokyo DisneySea

There was definitely a sense of anticipation at exploring DisneySea (as opposed to DisneyLand, clever) for the first time, and and it turned out to be quite exciting in more ways than planned. This park was originally conceptualized for Long Beach, California but ended up being built in Tokyo instead. Other than two rides — Tower of Terror and Indiana Jones — the rest of the rides and shows were new to this very experienced Disney family.

The first thing I noticed is that, unlike in America, visitors here are eager to get an early start. We're one of those "crazy" types that always gets to the park super early to beat the crowd. We were once the very first family through Sleeping Beauty's Castle! We underestimated Tokyo. A full hour before opening, hundreds of people were already waiting, and hordes more poured out of each local commuter train that pulled up at the station. It was going to be a crowded day.

Looking across Mediterranean Harbor to the entrance of DisneySea

I also noticed that the Japanese weren't going to compromise their fashion style just because they were spending the day at a theme park. To make some broad, sweeping generalizations, the Walt Disney World crowd in Florida tends to be populated with people wearing family reunion Tshirt uniforms. Disneyland in California has the SoCal look with lots of girls in spaghetti strap tank tops and cut offs. Hong Kong Disneyland was filled with people wearing heavy winter coats worthy of a ski slope even though the temperature hovered around 62°F. In Tokyo, I was freezing my bum off in a microfleece shirt, jacket and jeans. All the ladies around me were dolled up in short shorts, thigh high stockings and platform shoes with a cute jacket on top. Many were munching on the numerous popcorn flavors offered — caramel, strawberry, black pepper, and curry.

I wished that I had more time to admire the grand Mediterranean Harbor at the entrance, but I knew we had to head quickly to the rides if we wanted to cut down on waiting in line. Plus, I think I would have been run over by the stampede of people if I had stopped. As usual, the family split up for part of the time with my hubby taking my older son on the high thrill rides while I escorted the younger two on the kiddie rides.

Steampunk at its best — a retro-style view of the future

Mount Prometheus is the centerpiece of the park and the biggest steampunk display I've ever seen. It's part of Mysterious Island which is based on the stories of Jules Verne and held what my kids declared to be some of the best rides at DisneySea. 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea may share a name with the now closed ride in the U.S. parks, but that's where the similarity ends. In this much more exciting version, we climbed into a diving bell and dipped down "under water" to explore the deep sea. All three kids really enjoyed the joystick-controlled searchlight. Be forewarned that taller folks, like my husband, will have to practically lie down on the bench in order to see out the window. The best original ride in the park has to be Journey to the Center of the Earth. It has it all — detailed theming (decorations that set the mood), great storyline, surprises, and a high thrill factor. If the U.S. parks are looking to expand, they should strongly consider adding Mysterious Island stateside.

Unbelievable sights, Indescribable feelings

Despite DisneySea being positioned as oriented for adults and older kids, there is plenty for the younger set to do at Arabian Coast and Mermaid Lagoon. Arabian Coast has Jasmine's Flying Carpets which is a Dumbo-style ride. There's a two-story carousel, and of course, my kids wanted to ride on the top level. Sinbad's Storybook Voyage is a relaxing boat ride that would have made a lot more sense if we had remembered to pick up the handheld English translator unit.

If I understood Japanese, I could tell you what's happening on Sinbad's Storybook Voyage.

The Magic Lamp Theater has a fun 4D movie mixed with live action on stage. This time, we remembered to ask for the translator. It's the story of Genie and one of his other masters not featured in the Aladdin movie. The bucking seats accidentally knocked my iPhone out of my pocket, and I didn't realize it until after we'd exited. Imagine describing your iPhone to someone. "Um, it's black. It's an iPhone." I don't know if I was sadder at the prospect of losing a pricey item or the numerous pictures that hadn't been uploaded to the cloud. Luckily, they found it!

Up where they walk, Up where they run, Up where they stay all day in the sun...

The fantastical, Gaudi-inspired spires of Mermaid Lagoon beckoned us to cross over to this port-of-call. A kiddie roller coaster and another ride are at surface level. Then, you descend down into Triton's Kingdom which, joy of joys, is located entirely indoors. Disney was wise to plan a section which would be enjoyable no matter what the weather was like outside. Our first stop was the Mermaid Lagoon Theater where we once again remembered to get translator devices. It's a good thing because this version of Ariel and Ursula's story is different from the movie. The show involves a lot of dangling from a harness on Ariel's part (an aerial Ariel) as well as ginormous lever-controlled puppets. It's not to be missed, even if you've seen the one in Florida a thousand times. Triton's Kingdom also has three other kiddie rides, an indoor playground, a restaurant, ice cream cart, and a few shops. You could spend HOURS down here as we later discovered.

Jumpin' Jellyfish! This place is deceptively huge.

Fortress Explorations is a Renaissance-era citadel that reminds me somewhat of EPCOT and its numerous hands-on activites. If EPCOT is focused on the future, Fortress Explorations is firmly rooted in the past. Guests joined the Society of Explorers and Adventurers (S.E.A.) to "witness first-hand the progression of our explorations and research." No rides here, but there was still plenty to capture our attention. Plus, what had started as a windy day was getting even more blustery, and this was a wonderful way to take shelter. It was too dark outside for the Camera Obscura to work properly, but I will admit that the life-size Flying Machine was a sight to behold (and climb on).

Come Josephine in my Flying Machine

At this point, the weather stopped holding back and really let loose. People made beelines for stores selling rain gear. I utilized my pushy American attitude to grab some instead of politely waiting while the lady in front of me took her time figuring out exactly which knee-length, white, semi-transparent, plastic raincoat she wanted. Even though we were in Port Discovery, we didn't do the rides. Aquatopia was outdoors and looked miserable in the lashing rain. We seemed to have missed StormRider, too. This Fast Pass-category simulator ride takes you into the middle of a typhoon. With the wind and the rain whipping around in real life, we wished it was all just a ride and we could get off.

My little girl is absolutely terrified of storms. More than one person has commented to me, "That's how my dog is around thunder." So, the younger two kids and I made our way back to Triton's Kingdom. Lots of people were streaming towards the park exit even though it was only mid-afternoon. My guess is that if people had a season pass or a multi-day pass, they were calling it quits for the day. I only saw half of DisneySea, so you'll have to rely on my hubby and son's report for the remaining ports-of-call. No pictures after this point because we were worried that our cameras would either be soaked or blown out of our hands. So much for my plan to go back and take a picture at the entrance.

Do not anger the Raging Spirits roller coaster.

The Lost River Delta evokes an ancient Central American civilization deep in a remote jungle. Like any good movie archaeologist, the rides explore ruins and anger the gods. Will they never learn? The Raging Spirits roller coaster was rated "medium thrill" by hubby despite its tight, 360 degree loop. Hubby actually exceeded the maximum rider height limit, so he slouched down and snuck on. I'm glad the gods didn't make him lose his head over it! The Indiana Jones ride is very similar to the one in California. But since this is one of his favorite non-rollercoaster rides, hubby didn't mind. Indiana Jones is the one DisneySea ride I really regret missing out on.

The sea was angry that day my friends.

American Waterfront has both the Tower of Terror and the S.S. Columbia which looks amazingly like the Queen Mary in Long Beach, California. My hubby joked that Disney really went all out making the seas look stormy that day. Tower of Terror is my son's favorite ride at any Disney park, and he enjoyed the Tokyo version immensely. It has a different story but keeps the exhilarating, full-shaft drops.

The family reunited and decided to head to dinner during a lull in the storm even though it wasn't quite 6 p.m. We made our way to Zambini Brother's Ristorante in Mediterranean Harbor. While we were huddled down and walking, an announcement in Japanese started broadcasting over the entire park. That can't be good. I'm glad they repeated it in English afterwards. The Fantasmic show that evening was cancelled, and they may have announced that some of the outdoor rides were halted too. The part that took me by surprise was that all commuter trains back into Tokyo were shut down. Remember all those hordes of people streaming out of the train station that morning? How were they all getting home? Hopefully, most of them had already left. Otherwise, the taxi stand was going to be a mob scene.

So, we decided to while away our time at the restaurant. After eating, I stayed there with little girl while hubby took the boys back to Mysterious Island for one last go at the rides there. My younger boy commented that you could lean backwards, and the wind would completely support you. Also, wait times at rides were practically nothing.

At 8 p.m., a full 2 hours before park closing, we decided to leave. This should give you a clue to how bad the weather was at this point. I thought the best chance for us to comfortably hail a taxi was from the MiraCosta hotel. So, we donned our rain gear and headed back outside. By now, we couldn't even walk straight since the wind was blowing so hard. In the next day's newspaper, they printed a picture of semi-trucks on the road which had blown over on their sides. Flights into Haneda Airport had stopped, too. The MiraCosta was beautiful inside. Even if it's not storming, you should take a moment to explore it. The kids settled down in front of a TV showing The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh (in Japanese) while we waited for our taxi to arrive. Much better than waiting outside at the park's taxi stand! On our way home, we had to take a detour since the iconic Rainbow Bridge was closed as well. All in all, it was an epic day in more ways than one.

Tips for Handling Grumpy Junior Travelers

I need to make a confession. Reading over my trip reports with my kids, you may have formed the impression that they are enthusiastic, willing participants on all our travels. Perhaps you picture them happily donning their backpacks and eager to explore. You are mistaken. When I was visiting Austin a few months ago, one of my friends commented about how much her kids complained when they traveled, even on an overnight getaway. She was envious of all the trips I was taking with my kids. And then I explained that my kids' attitudes were pretty much just like her children's.

The key is that I've built up a very high tolerance to whining, pouty faces, and even calmly conveyed protests. I alternate between chirpily restating how much fun we're going to have, grouchily muttering, "Because I said so," and silently ignoring the cloud of grumpiness hovering around us.

So, why do we keep going? Because ultimately, the good outweighs the bad. Like much of parenting, just when I'm ready to throw in the towel (e.g. potty training, separation anxiety at school drop off, learning to sleep alone, etc.), something happens that gives me encouragement. A few happy moments of my kids' appreciation are all I need to keep me going. Plus, I am certain that at some point, probably a few decades from now, they'll look back fondly at all the journeys we take.

Here are some tips, some of which may only apply to my family:

1. Quote Lilo & Stitch
As Lilo says, " 'Ohana' means family. Family means no one gets left behind." I bring this up whenever the kids ask, "Why do we have to come along?" Hubby and I want to travel. We're taking the family with us. No one gets left behind.

2. Let them have input on trip planning
For our trip to Japan, I asked all the kids what they really wanted to do while we were there. Letting them have some control has cut down on resistance. I made sure I incorporated all the reasonable requests. Staking out the Nintendo office building which is closed to the public is not a reasonable request.

Can you guess if an adult or child put Pokemon Center on the itinerary?

3. Give kids their turn at picking restaurants
I will readily admit that we eat at McDonald's while traveling. I claim that we go too much. My kids claim that we go too little (3 times a day being just right in their eyes). So, I guess we're at some sort of happy medium. We'll also do the "acceptable choices" routine. I'll appoint one child to pick the restaurant but limit his choices to, for example, three restaurants that serve either teppanyaki, sushi, or ramen. Note that McDonald's is not a choice.

Plastic food displays outside Japanese restaurants helped the kids decide where to eat.

4. Figure out why they're reluctant
My kids don't get out of doing the day's activity just because of a bad attitude. But if someone is scared, I've learned not to push it. Who knew that The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh at Disneyland would traumatize my then 4-year-old so much that we weren't able to go on most rides for the rest of the day? I honestly thought that if I just got her on it, she would be so enchanted by the storybook images that she'd forget her fears. Wrong! On the other hand, we assumed my son refused to go back into the Magic Kingdom's Monsters, Inc. Laugh Floor show because he thought it was too scary. It turned out that he just thought the Roz character spoke to the audience rudely. We went back in.

5. Bribe them
Put the kiddie fun activity after the boring adult one. "If you behave while we are at this Buddhist temple, then we can go to the children's science museum." Also, offering an ice cream break will do wonders to rejuvenate tired children — just remember to tour quickly before the sugar crash hits.

6. Accept that everyone may not be happy
Of course, I would be overjoyed if everyone were happy! With two adults and three kids, all five of whom have very different personalities and interests, the chances of everyone being happy are slim. I try to split the difference so that everyone at least has a few chances to be happy. If one adult and 2 of the 3 kids are satisfied, I consider it a huge success.

How many children are happy in this picture?

7. Be willing to split up
Sometimes the best way to increase the odds of numerous happy travelers is to split up. There's a five year age difference between my oldest and youngest kids, and they are definitely at different developmental points, both physically and psychologically. In Maine a few summers ago, the two older kids went with their dad on Diver Ed's Dive-In Theater Boat Cruise, an amazingly way cool excursion to get an up close look at marine life both above and under the water. My girl was leery of boats, so we stayed on shore to visit the aquatic touch tanks and play with DNA replication LEGOs at Mount Desert Island Biological Lab.

Diver Ed uses an underwater camera to give kids a peep at life beneath the waves.

8. Know when to stop
Sometimes, I will have the most amazing, action packed day of sightseeing planned, but tired feet and hungry stomachs get in the way. I'm slowly, v-e-r-y slowly, learning to be flexible and figuring out when to call it quits and head back to the hotel. It's the same planning that goes into a day of running errands with a toddler and baby. As much as is logistically possible, load the most important stuff at the beginning so that you minimize your losses if you have to stop before the end of the list.

9. Find some Me Time
For some of my friends, this means a spa treatment or a quiet date night while the children are at the resort's Kids Club. In my case, Me Time usually involves barricading myself in the hotel bathroom and reading a book while perched on the counter after the children and my early bird hubby have fallen asleep.

Also be on the lookout for any Me Time opportunities that come your way.  Flying from Hong Kong to Tokyo, my hubby — but only my hubby — was bumped up to business class. He was all ready to decline when I piped up, "I'll take it. You can sit with the kids." See how nice I am to let the kids have quality time with their even keeled dad without buggy, ole mom hanging around? I was in a better mood, so I was more able to deflect my kids' grumpiness. Hats off to hubby for being totally fine with this arrangement.

I enjoyed a selection of goodies from the Business Class Fruit and Cheese cart.
Hubby snacked on peanuts while caring for 3 kids in Steerage Coach.

And if you find that magic moment when everyone is happy and content, cherish it!
(Then take a picture so you have proof.)



This post is part of Travel Tips Tuesday at Suitcases and Sippy Cups.

Did Dr. Seuss Visit Penang?

When I leave home to walk to school Dad always says to me,
"Marco keep your eyelids up, and see what you can see."
But when I tell him where I've been, and what I think I've seen,
He looks at me and sternly says, "Your eyesight's much too keen.
Stop telling such outlandish tales,
Stop turning minnows into whales."
Now, what can I say when I go home today?
                  From And To Think That I Saw It On Mulberry Street
                  by Dr. Seuss (published 1937)

Oh, how I used to love this book as a child. I remember lying on my bed, turning the pages to look at Dr. Seuss's outlandish illustrations and enjoying the story Marco embellishes about what he sees on his way home from school along Mulberry Street. Growing up in a quiet Houston suburb, I never saw anything more exciting than a golf cart rolling down the lane. My children cannot make the same claim. No need to invent sights to behold because, unlike on Mulberry Street, anything is possible in Penang. Sometimes I wonder if Dr. Seuss ever had the chance to visit this city. Perhaps it would have inspired him.

Walking home Friday, my daughter exclaimed, "Watch out for the cow, Mama," as we strolled through the school parking lot. Cow? We're in an area filled with homes, condo towers and beach resorts. There are no pastures nearby. Why would a cow be here? But she was right.

Does Penang have leash laws regarding cattle?

Then came another cow on a leash. It seems that the school parking lot was the perfect place to graze. Whatever! If my story ended here, I'd still claim it was worth telling people.

Nom, nom. Can't talk. Eating grass.

Next thing I knew, I had to jump off the sidewalk as a man on a motor scooter zipped by on it. This is actually not all that unusual here. He pulled into the parking lot and gave a ride to the two cowboys.

A little further down the road, I came across what Dr. Seuss might call  "a broken down wagon".

Even in Penang, you don't normally see this on the road.

They were busy tying flowers onto the posts. Like Marco in the story, I guess they thought their cart was a little too tame. My two younger kids didn't seem the bit enthralled by the sights we had just seen.

After a while, my middle school child was a bit past due for arriving home, so I headed back to the school to find him. (This is when I started seriously considering getting him a mobile phone.) Aha! No "Rajah with Rubies", but the cart was completely decorated.

A flower bedecked chariot is something to see, sitting aside on Mulberry Street. 

But now... I don't know... It still doesn't seem right...

But it'd look simply grand with a great big Drum Band!

A band that's so good should have someone to hear it.

A large crowd gathered behind the cart.

People were streaming from the nearby hotels over to the cart. They were mostly Indians, but I saw Chinese and Malays, too. Many people had thumbprint-sized red dots on their forehead, much bigger than the bindis I'm accustomed to seeing on women. Looking around on the internet, I'd guess it was a tilaka symbolizing the third eye. But I really don't know and don't have a way to confirm it.

At this point, my oldest kid finally emerged from the school.

Clearly this cart was "really too heavy a load for one beast." It needs two cows at least. Ahhh, now the cows make sense. The cart started to make its way onto the busy street, followed by the crowd, drummers, and someone blowing a whistle rhythmically.

Say! That makes a story no one can beat (when I say that I saw it on Mulberry Street).

But then there came an "awful traffic mix-up."

It takes Police to do the trick,
To guide them through where traffic's thick!

A few uniformed guards stepped out in front of the procession, halting traffic where necessary. You can imagine how quickly the cross traffic flew when they saw what was coming down the road towards them. Stopping at red lights was not an option!

Confetti started popping out. Not dropped from airplanes as in Dr. Seuss's story but shot out of hand-held cardboard tubes instead. There was a even a Chinese boy running behind them — but no magician or man with a 10-foot long beard that I could see.

I was almost home and...

I swung 'round the corner and dashed through the gate,
I ran up the steps,
I felt simply great!
I had a story that no one could beat
(and to think that I saw it on Mulberry Street).

Everything excites me and makes my heart beat! But what exactly did I witness? I don't know. My girl thought maybe it was a funeral procession because of the large portrait on the cart. Were the fireworks coming from the nearby Hindu temple that night a coincidence? Unlike poor Marco with his unimaginative father, you can see anything on Jalan Mulberry. 

Japanese Vending Machines

My cousin, Sandra, told me that the Japanese loved vending machines. She said they were everywhere, on sidewalks and down tiny alleys. Well, she was right. My kids are still hoping that in a fog of jetlag, I'll land at a U.S. airport, walk up to a Best Buy vending machine, swipe my credit card and declare, "You were so good on that flight, I'm going to buy you a Nintendo DSi." In the meantime, they got to enjoy the numerous vending machines we encountered in Japan.

Most of the machines served beverages. If you got thirsty walking down the street or standing on a train station platform, there'd surely be a machine nearby so you could quench your thirst. The one in the hallways of the Hilton Tokyo Narita Airport hotel even dispensed beer. No I.D. required.

Cigarette vending machines were also popular.  I haven't seen those in America since I was a kid. Back then, you had to pull out the lever to get it to come out. Or so I thought. I never actually bought any. In Japan, there were public smoking areas with rows of cigarette machines all along the back.

Was it coincidence that this cigarette machine
was next to an Automated External Difibrillator (AED)?

You could buy small toys in plastic bubbles, too. However, machines dispensing Nintendo DSi's were no where to be found.

She had a yen for LEGO minifigures.

But the best machines gave you food. At the Kyoto International Manga Museum Cafe, we came across a Ticket Vender. After perusing the numbered menu, you used the machine to place your order. Just insert the appropriate amount of money and push the button for the food item you want. The machine gives you back both change and a printed ticket with your order. Hand the ticket to the person at the counter and find a table. When the food is cooked and ready, a waitress brings it out to you. For drinks, entrees and side dishes for the five of us, we handed over 12 tickets.

The menu is the red-bordered page at the top right of the machine.
Push the button corresponding to the menu item you want.

The most amazing vending machine is the one that gave you HOT food. No kitchen or cook required at this one! My younger boy was feeling a bit peckish one afternoon when we came across it. Other people crowded around eager to watch, but we were the only ones willing to actually pay money to see it in action.

Come and get it while it's hot!

The menu was in Japanese, so I was glad there were pictures. It offered both Western foods like hot dogs or french fries as well as Asian foods such as fried rice or noodles. Everything was priced at 350 yen, or US$4.30. Insert your money and make your selection. A timer lights up, telling you how long to wait to have your hunger sated. My boy chose french fries which took about 90 seconds to cook. As we waited, I joked about Wallace and Gromit-worthy contraptions housed inside the machine that would peel and slice potatoes, heat the oil, fry everything up, drain it, and plate the food. Ding! The machine was done.

Yum, yum! French fries from a vending machine.

He peeled open the box to find a pile of steamy, soft, microwaved french fries. It turns out that a packet of salt was included, but we didn't discover that until the fries were consumed. Were they good? Not in my opinion. Did my boy eat it? Yes, and even had to be strong armed to part with some to share with his siblings.

Malaysian Coffee

Kopi tiams (coffee shops) are an integral part of Malaysian culture. You'll find these ultra-casual open-air establishments everywhere, providing nourishment to the locals before they head off for the day. Most Western style coffee houses like Starbucks don't open until at least 9 a.m. — shocking! — so a kopi tiam is your best bet for coffee in the morning.

But if you just order a kopi (coffee), you may be surprised by what you get. Not grossed out surprised. Just, "Oh, that's not what I expected" surprised. The default way to serve a nice, hot cup of coffee is with sweetened condensed milk mixed into the brew. Lucky for me that I love milky, sweet, coffee goodness! Asking for kopi-o will result in a cup without milk but still sweetened with sugar. Kopi kosong is what most Americans think of as straight up coffee — black, no sugar, no milk.

The coffee is brewed in a sock, what they call the muslin bag attached around the top to a large metal ring with a handle. Ground coffee is placed into the sock and then steeped in hot water. A few spoonfuls of sweetened condensed milk are ladled into each cup of coffee, and then the whole mixture is poured back and forth between two cups, one held high above the other, to combine everything and make a nice foam on top.

Malaysians have an interesting way of roasting coffee. Instead of a dry roast, they traditionally stir the beans with butter and sugar in a pan placed over a hot fire. With all the sweetened condensed milk plus my lack of discerning taste buds, I can't really detect a difference in taste from my regular American coffee. Supposedly, this roasting method results in a burnt flavor that masks the harshness of liberica beans typically used.

At the grocery stores, instant coffee gets far more shelf space than coffee beans or ground coffee. Now, I finally understand my parents' penchant for instant. Most of the instant coffee is bags of single serving packets labeled "white coffee" and "3-in-1." At first, my friend and I thought that it was some special light roast, but it turns out that white coffee means instant coffee with nondairy creamer and sugar mixed in. See how it's similar to the kopi served at the restaurants? The white coffee labeled 2-in-1 doesn't have sugar included.

Traditional Penang White Coffee
Now with Mocha!

Worried about coming to Penang and having to give up espresso? You'll be glad to know that Starbucks and Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf cafes are everywhere, usually right next to each other. On my exploratory trip to Penang, I ordered a Tall Cafe Mocha at Starbucks, and it was just like they serve in America. In fact, it was better than what I usually drink because I forgot to ask for low fat milk, so it had the full creaminess of whole milk in it. That was the point when I realized I could live here. Penang wouldn't be 100% foreign if I could still go to Starbucks.

But not everything is American at a Malaysian Starbucks.

Small, locally owned espresso houses abound in Penang, too.  I'm gradually working my way through them, but here are my favorites so far.

siTigun Bicycle Pit-Stop Cafe is a Italian-style micro roastery that serves knock-your-socks-off espresso plus homemade croissants and other delicious delights.

Kopi C. Espresso at China House is, despite it's name, Australian cuisine and the most talked about restaurant in town right now.

55 Cafe at Coffee Atelier serves an excellent breakfast in addition to espresso. Sneak back towards the bathroom to see the old-fashioned Malay coffee roaster that's no longer in use but still cool to look at.

Double Malay coffee roaster at Coffee Atelier

Lighthouse Coffee is for the coffee connoisseur with its variety of beans, brewing styles (espresso machine, ice drip, French press, and siphon) and syrups plus advanced barista workshops, coffee tastings (like wine tastings) and coffee appreciation seminars.

siTigun picks through green coffee beans before roasting them the Italian way.

Update: Regarding white coffee, I've now heard that it's beans roasted with only butter and no sugar, creating a lighter roast than the traditional way of using both butter and sugar. The instant stuff at the stores still typically contains sugar in the sachet unless otherwise indicated.

The Key to Japanese Test Taking? Kit Kats

Some kids in Texas public schools are taking the brand spanking new STAAR exam this week. Touted to be more rigorous than the old assessment test that it replaces, it seems to be universally despised by students, parents and teachers. At least, that's what my extensive research of Facebook friends' status updates tells me. They should take a cue from the Japanese who have quite a history of intensive test taking. Give the students Kit Kats.

Sakura-Maccha Kit Kats with  Green Tea White Chocolate Coating
and Cherry Creme between the wafers.

An explanatory sign was set up by these candy-filled gift boxes.

In Japanese, "Kit Kat" sounds similar to "Kitto Katsutoo!" which means "you're sure to win'' in the Kyushu dialect. Because of this, Kit Kat chocolate is commonly used as a good-luck charm for students taking school entrance examinations. It is also familiarly known as an "omamori" (which means "lucky charm") all across Japan.

So I figure that if you tuck in your kids early for a good night's sleep, fill them up on Lucky Charms cereal for breakfast and send along some Kit Kats for a mid-test snack, they'll definitely ace the exam! There's even a little spot on the back of the package where you can pen your well wishes.

Dear Gen, the answers are hidden inside the wrapper.

A ton of flavors were available in Japan. I've been out of the U.S. long enough so that I'm not sure if some of the ones I thought were unique are offered in the Western Hemisphere as well.

• Milk Chocolate
• Sakura-Machha pictured above
• Cinnamon White Chocolate
• Cookies and Cream
• Strawberry White Chocolate
• Strawberry Cheesecake
• Orange
• Almond Tofu Pudding (I'm pretty sure this one is Asia only.)

I really wanted to try Almond Tofu Pudding Kit Kats, but not enough to shell out US$12 for a big box. Cinnamon White Chocolate was yummy.

Good luck and Kitto Katsutoo kiddos!